Wednesday 16 September 2009

Urgh

well today was going so well, i hadnt eaten all day. then i came home and what had my mom made, hot chocolate fudge cake, i just couldnt say no! i only had a small piece though so i am not to angry with myself, another day of fasting tomorrow which i will hopefully complete. i will be better busy tomorrow so i shouldnt get to hungry. just keep drinking bloody water :L
i have got so much course work to do and its all in for friday :O argh!
i am going for a meal on friday night with my friends =/ i will be able to et away with eatin very little because where going for an indian and i always share with someone so that should only leave me with a little bit to eat :) but then i'm going to alton towers sat with my friends, so im going to be with them constantly all day, hopefully cuz there are 8 of us going they wont notice that im not going to eat lol. sat night im staying at my boyfriends but then sunday were going to his cousins christening and i LOVE party food, "/ i will eat as little as i can anyway. i'll just have to see how things go really. but hope for the best with everything. i hate food, i HATE it. every single time i eat something i just think oh crap more fucking calories : and then i get annoyed with my self afterwards so i just try and not eat at all. also cuz if im hungry and have like a little nibble of something it just makes me wont more and more and i ent up binging like a big fat pig. i need to get some laxatives for if ever i do eat alot. well sorry about the messy post, im just really busy laterly with so much school work :@ i will post on sunday night proberly and i will weigh in aswel :)
good luck everyone, love you all who read my blog
elle ♥ i WILL become thin before my birthday [dec]

3 comments:

  1. yes you can defff become thin!! we are here for you!!=] =] =]

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  2. we're here for you! keep up your strength!
    EMPTINESS IS STRENGTH!
    xoxo
    -Strength

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  3. Hey, don't beat yourself too up because of the cake. At least your didn't gulp down the entire thing, lol. I had a little slip up today too, but I am just thankful that I kept myself together enough not to binge out of punishment for slipping up in the first place. That is a huge accomplishment for me. I am really looking forward to tomorrow. Being productive/ busy definitely helps keep the mind off food, so that is good that you are busy tomorrow. Also, I am completely feel the same when I am at parties. It is such a social action that I feel obligated to eat. I hate it. Last time I went to a party, I stuck a fresh piece of gum in my mouth. That way when I was tempted to eat something I remembered that I just had a piece of gum and didn't want it to go to waste (and, for me, the minty flavor mixed with something else grosses me out a bit). Also, it helped because when someone asked me if I wanted something all I had to do was tell them that I just grabbed a piece of gum and -BAM- end of conversation, lol. Alright, I won't ramble on too long, lol. Good luck tomorrow!!!! :-)

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